A video I made to accompany the piece. Includes narration and original music by me.
I can’t say I am a big soccer fan. But for a brief period during the summer of 2026, I watched nearly every World Cup match. I learned the rules, read news articles, cheered when my teams scored, and sent soccer texts with family members:
“What is this offside rule?”
“The first team to score in overtime wins?”
“Not a fan of these two commentators. Much prefer the British guys.”
I made plans around certain games so I wouldn’t miss them. Never missed an England, France, or U.S.A. match. I watched matches at my apartment, in restaurants, at work, and on vacation. I was on a cruise one week in June and my brothers and I would go to a sports bar to watch certain matches. We bought pitcher after pitcher of Newcastle while we watched. We were full-time soccer watchers us.
I also did lots of chores during games. Washed dishes. Folded clothes. Some games I relied on the announcers’ excitement to let me know something was happening. Soccer commentary is quite dramatic. Roller coaster-esque. Long periods of quiet. More quiet. Corner kick. Missed. Quiet. Quiet. MESSI OUT IN THE OPEN. BYPASSES ONE DEFENDER….
Before each England match, I would listen to Oasis. Definitely Maybe. It felt proper that way. And after each England win, the players and fans would sing Wonderwall. At one Spain match I saw Noel Gallagher in a suite. Didn’t see Liam at any games. But I know he was watching England because he would tweet about them.
Another person who was watching was President Trump. He called the FIFA President about a red card given to a U.S.A. player. What if Trump does that next NFL season. Calls Roger Goodell about a call he thought was unfair. In that case, I hope he is a Saints fan.
I nearly bought a France jersey but I couldn’t find my size. I liked the white collar on it. My brother bought a U.S.A. jersey. It even came with the shorts! Do soccer fans wear the full uniform? You don’t really see NFL or MLB fans wearing the full uniform. When you buy a Saints jersey it doesn’t come with the lil gold pants. There are limits to how much we want to play dress up.
I went to a soccer match once in Ireland. I saw the Bohemians play in Dublin. I bought a Guinness and sat behind the goalie. Oddly enough they ran out of beer by halftime so that was the only pint I had. They also popped fireworks in the stands when the Bohemians scored. I couldn’t imagine someone popping some blackcats when the Saints scored a touchdown. The Bohemians had fantastic jerseys though. I actually bought one. Primarily because it says Fontaines D.C. across it.
Now that the World Cup is over and won’t happen again until 2030, I think my soccer watching will decline considerably. The NFL season is fixing to start and I already spend too much time watching all those games. However, if the World Cup happened every year, I would be more inclined to watch soccer. I’d even buy a lil soccer uniform like my brother. If only there was someone to call the FIFA President about making the World Cup an annual event….
Until then, I’ll be a part-time soccer watcher and that’s fine with me.
